praise
"The Anti-Racist Parenting Group bimonthly virtual meetings are often the highlight of my month. It's my first time joining such a group, and I knew no one at the start. However, this group of like-minded parents has become such a precious community to me. I love how each meeting focuses on a different topic with short articles or videos or podcasts to prepare and guide our conversations. It's been a space of healing in the harsh realities of white supremacy and racial injustice, encouragement from knowing there are others out there doing the same work and having the same parenting goals, and great learning as different members share new ideas and resources to equip me in guiding my children into decolonization and anti-racism. I leave the therapeutic time feeling re-energized for this important responsibility. Adrienne is a great facilitator, keeping the conversation flowing, honoring silence or emotions, preparing us for as well as recapping each gathering, and communicating regularly with us. One benefit of being in the pandemic has been the availability of these types of communities virtually, and I'm so grateful to have connected with this one!"
Leslie, mothering 2 (ages 12 and 15)
Have you ever been a part of a group like this before?
Before joining this group, I felt alone and isolated in this journey in looking at what it means to be antiracist. Even though I was new to the topic and in really giving race a hard look, I was willing to take up the call. I wanted to be able to connect with others that had similar questions, and honestly, I wanted to learn from others who were “further along” in their journey of evaluation and reflection, and to glean from their experiences.
I’ve never been part of a group like this, and for it to be online, which is another level of intimidation and “scary”, I knew that I needed to connect to others to continue on pursuing this journey for myself and for my daughter. I was afraid that if I didn’t make a concerted, intentional effort to create or be part of a community that this new ignited “passion” or realization would just slip through the cracks and that I would become complacent about the realities of racism in America.
What surprised you most about participating in our community?
One thing that surprised me was that everyone in the group was so “woke”. I felt like and still feel like I’m the “newbie” to this work. I know that we are all learning from each other, and I don’t say “newbie” in a negative sense, but in that I get to benefit from all the experiences and processing that others have done. I get to hear from them and in hearing about their experiences, reflect on my own life. I think it’s a gift to learn from others who may be more “knowledgeable” or “experienced” than oneself because it allows one to ask more questions, deeper questions, and pushes you.
During our groups, did you have any “ah-ha!” moments that changed the way you saw yourself or the world?
Every week! I love that everyone comes from a different background. We always have little nuggets of wisdom/quotes from members in the group. Honestly, because I’m new to a lot of this material, every week was an eye-opening session as people shared their experiences and points of view.
What has been your favorite part of our group?
Meeting together, discussion, and when we kind of get off on a tangent and feed off of other’s responses with giving feedback, sharing our own experiences (and other sources) that are related to what was said. I love finding and seeing those connections at play.
What was the biggest challenges you faced in your parenting? How did participation in our group help you overcome/improve it?
Honestly, I’m still processing a lot of the material for myself and my own racial perceptions, so the group has helped me stay grounded, hopeful, and committed to continuing that process. If I didn’t have the group, like I said before, I probably would have let the topic just slip away and just gone on with life. I think I would have fallen into this “state of comfort” because race is a complex concept that isn’t easy to tackle alone. Even as I do research, read articles, and books, so many questions come up, especially as an Asian American living in Hawai'i. Participating in the group was a reminder that I need to be intentional with my own research, but also with my daughter in reading books about race and diversity with her. The group was also a reminder to be kind to myself in not trying to do it the “right” way, but in my pursuits letting things unfold. I know I need to have a long-game mentality to racial justice work and need to find ways to sustain the work without losing hope or getting overwhelmed. The group also reminded me that oftentimes we are probably only a few steps ahead of our kids in dismantling white supremacy and racism in our own minds/life.
-Susannah, mothering 4 yo
"This group feels like a great big ocean holding all our feelings."- antiracist parenting group member
“[Adrienne’s] workshop on Decolonizing Parenting was really helpful. As an immigrant I struggle with finding the right words to approach this conversation, especially with a young child. I was particularly struck by your prompt to think about how a free/decolonized child looks like. Starting with that goal in mind allowed me to flesh out an image of what I am trying to achieve as a parent raising a free and loving daughter. The workshop showed me that it is okay to use detailed descriptions and calling race out early so that I can control the narrative around it instead of my child being left to fill in blanks in a world where whiteness is still centered. Your examples gave me a good starting point to practice.”
-Cleodia, mothering 3yo
“I joined the Anti-Racist Parenting Group because I needed to apply specific parenting practices from the anti-racist approach and the collectivist worldview. As I engage with others in this group, I not only learn applicable tips, but even more impactful is the reassurance and energetic support of people who are asking the same questions as I am, who are feeling all the feelings about the world of raising human beings. This space is where I can re-parent myself, as I enjoy raising sons who are 22 years apart.
Also, I joined this specific group because dominant culture parenting practices and parenting groups are simply not going to be the default in my culturally-blended home, and I need a support group to continually inspire me and reassure me that my family is not alone.
I sincerely feel that the work you lead, and all this energy you gather, is the medicine our people need.”
Carolyn, mothering 2 (ages 11 and 33)
